Phoebe McIndoe

Phone Sex

Phoebe McIndoe
Phone Sex

when he was inside me or

when lip to lip, he held on


I never thought what does my vagina

look like to him, only

after, unaccustomed to the traits of a long-

distance relationship

phone

balanced

precariously between breasts

I wondered, ok so

he wants sex

over the phone


*


this is my home now

he is somewhere

behind this screen

*

I know it is important

to him

to piece

bone by bone

the body

pixel by pixel together

his dick honing

like a shared live location

and it is important

to me

to keep him close

*

I lower the phone just a little, cracks

through the VPN

(I have practised and pre-recorded

cries and moans

sounding authentic

sexy, soft

not forced)

*

this feeling is something

similar to being

an insect amidst

a long stretch of

dried out land, the sheer

itch of exposure

*

and everything looks alien

bird of prey, he moves

hawk-eyed

all of me

falling beyond the line

*

surely skype can’t

change

the stretch

of

time

*

all is


careful


concession


balancing

need for need


I must


make peace

with my own skin

*

small camera flicks


face fanny face fanny


the ingrown hairs


are grey palaces


wasted flesh barrels


and hair


the too-big belly


breathes


quivers


the lips drooped


unhinged


like watching


girls


on


sea saws


their tipped skirts


hanging

*

when he used to go down on me he was


mythical

*

top of fire-drawn

fringe carriage

curled like waves

his hair tickled


his huge back

broke the shore

of skin

totally unafraid

his pressed chin


like a single eyed

cyclops

I surveyed his forrid

the tip of his nose

the frown of his face

great freckled up

scooping back

full of purpose


and sails of fingers

and cliff wrists, great barrier

reef of his tongue

pushing cracked Earth

like one of David Attenborough’s squids

tentacling the rock

to sucker the fish


I could show him something magic

make peace with my body bone by bone

next time he phones I

could feel at home in it, live

well in it, laugh, love, live, fuck, give

up everything but this

sense

of nothing else

mattering, great wonder

of marrow

and mind

the white plucked

unequivocal

great bastion

flesh

filling screens with this body

just me-

just me- will be enough-

next time